Personal shit is in the toilet. I feel awful. I’m torn about taking this medicine. I saw my therapist today and I’m even more torn. I bought a paper journal today to write down the things that are too personal to write here.
Wasn’t sure I’d make it out of bed this morning, but I did. Made the same smoothie as yesterday, minus chia/flax. Isn’t it so beautifully green? I love the color.
Really, really just want to go home and curl up in bed. Endo pain is flaring up, my head hurts, I’m exhausted and miserable.
Got home tonight, I had taken my boyfriend’s car to work because he stayed home. I had some coconut bread for a snack and then immediately crashed out on the couch and took something because i was in tons of pain. He hadn’t answered a text, so I figured I was sleeping and I’d bring his car back later. Then he gets pissed about that.
I go back to sleep, get up, make an awesome dinner, and then he gets pissed at me for tweeting a picture of awful traffic. Seriously? I wasn’t even moving. He uses his phone in the car all the time. I have never been in an accident, gotten a ticket, etc. Ever. So I got pissed, drove his car back, tossed the keys inside the door and walked home. And now he’s more pissed. I told him I had a horrible day and needed love and support from him, not being treated like a child. Now I feel like I can’t talk to him about any of this and how scared I am, and I’m so upset and I can’t stop crying.
Dinner – Butternut squash mac & “cheese.” This is a great recipe, hadn’t made it before. Used this brown rice pasta, and it was so good, you’d never know it was rice pasta.
I also put some kale and zucchini in the dehydrator – used this recipe. can’t wait to see how they turn out!
I also washed a bunch of the greens I got yesterday, and tossed some in the freezer.
Now I just need to relax and get some sleep.