Snacks, dinner, and cooking

Had carrots & hummus for a snack, and some cookie balls. Forgot to take pictures of the carrots.

Came home on the bus feeling miserable, headache-y, and in lots of pain. Had leftover pasta for dinner x2. Ate a couple zucchini chips when i took them out of the dehydrator. So good!

Had a little bit of a breakdown trying to figure out what I want to do about medication, decided to get a second opinion, especially on how to treat the Hashimoto’s. Feel a little better about that. Did some more cooking! Made this vegan feta cheese, can’t wait to bake it and try it. Made this cracker  recipe using gluten-free flour and some flax seed, came out well. Sliced up the rest of the zucchini and put it in the dehydrator. Also made these coconut bars and put them in the freezer.

Backwards night

This afternoon I ate some yogurt and wasn’t hungry enough for the hummus/carrots/cucumber chips that I packed. I’d been in some pain all day, but it kept getting worse. So a little before 4, I took some Vicodin, hoping that if it made me woozy, it wouldn’t be until just before I left (and i was right). I got home around 5… and went to bed. And woke up a couple times, but didn’t actually get up until about 2. So… I just had some dinner/breakfast. And now I’m debating staying up vs going back to sleep. *sigh* at this point, I can’t ever get enough sleep, and it’s rarely quality sleep, so I may as well take what I can get.

My dinner/breakfast was gf/vegan coconut pancakes – more successful this time. More chia/flax for binding, less baking powder and almond milk. Eaten with coconut butter, sprinkle of coconut, and a little maple syrup.

I’m still in some pain, so I think I may take something, grab an ice pack, curl up in bed, and hope for a nap. If I don’t fall asleep (and if it’s not raining or snowing) maybe I’ll take a walk or something this morning… later this morning? What a weird day.

Lunch (and still no snow day)

It has stopped snowing for the moment, but promises to get more slushy and disgusting later. I’d really rather be home. Also, lots of pain makes it hard to work. I took a bit of a walk around my building but I really wasn’t feeling well, and that sucked. And I hate feeling how out of shape I am. I used to run up the 3 flights of stairs to the top, and back down and around (it’s a very fun and winding old building) View from my building:

Snack this morning was strawberry kiwi fruit leather (i love my dehydrator!), lunch was leftover GF vegan mac & cheese and a salad with black beans, avocado, and chipotle ranch dressing. Chocolate coconut date balls for a snack. I packed a lot of food today in case I got hungry – as long as I’m eating clean, I don’t want to let myself be hungry/tempted to eat something I shouldn’t . I feel like I’m doing really well, and this diet switch has been much easier on me than I thought it would be. I haven’t weighed myself (I probably should, just for progress’ sake – or maybe just wait til the doctor next week and see if there’s a change?) but I do feel like I have lost some weight, and I’ve certainly gained some energy and am feeling better, even with the pain that never ends.

 

I love cooking and making food from scratch, I love eating clean, healthy food, and most importantly, i love WANTING to eat that way. I love health foods and recipes and trying new food – if only I weren’t so broke, I have an entire amazon wish list of gluten free ingredients and new health foods to try! But, even being broke, I’m doing really well and I’m really happy – I can stick with this. It will always be harder with the boyfriend or eating out, but I think I’ll have a lot of support from him now because I’m doing this for my health.

Also, I finished The China Study – if you haven’t read it, please do! It’s such an important book, and I think everyone should be privy to every last bit of information in it.

Feeling lousy and eating too much (?)

Sometimes I feel like I’ve spent so long fighting my body that I can’t always tell him I’m really hungry or not. I know I didn’t bring enough food to work today, but then I had a horrible headache when I got home. Eating seemed to make it better… but then it came right back. And I still feel awful and achy and sick and have abdominal pain.

I had a granola bar for a snack at work, and an unpictured jolly rancher. When I got home I had brown rice cereal with almond milk, a hot pocket, a picnic box, a couple crackers, some wine, and a lean cuisine. god, that sounds awful. Now I feel worse. And to top it off, I was reading The China Study the whole time. I can’t get over the research in this book. Plant-based diets have such a startling amount of research backing them, it’s amazing that animal protein hasn’t been classified as poison. I’m also watching Weight of the Nation (an HBO series) that I downloaded. Pretty interesting stuff, too. Hoping that watching this and getting some rest helps me start over tomorrow. But I did have a ton of produce this week!

    

 

Lunch & Dinner & a long day!

Today was long and busy – meetings and lots of work to be done. We’re finishing up a big backend change to our website and it’s launching after Easter.

Lunch today was a salad with black beans and some (stale) crushed up tortilla chips and chipotle ranch dressing. Sort of sad without avocado, but delicious anyway. And a picnic box. Snacks were granola bar, fruit and grain bar, yogurt, and of course, tea. And I had an unpictured jolly rancher.

 

I went to my boyfriend’s after work for what was supposed to be a minute because I am hurting and not feeling well. We have been making our own wine, which seems to be far more difficult than the kit lets on. We thought we had a 5 minute step today (de-gassing) but we spent hours and it’s still fizzing… *sigh*. If we have 6 gallons of crappy wine, it is not going to be good (I said we should just buy 20 gallons of sprite and make wine cooler!)

So I was starving when I got home and just wanted to eat a big dinner. I made a lean cuisine, a salad with caesar dressing (Brianna’s is vegetarian and delicious), whole wheat toast with butter, and a glass of sweet red wine. really hit the spot. Then I made a microwave brownie concotion with almond flour, cocoa powder, coconut butter, a dash of salt, water, and soy/dairy free chocolate chips. It was really delicious. Funny how this meal seems so unhealthy to me but it really isn’t, when you look at it. Not endo-diet, but hey, i didn’t eat out, and I had my vegetables! One step at a time 🙂 And I was in a lot of pain and tired of it so I took some Vicodin. I haven’t all week, but my dreams have been awful anyway so it doesn’t seem to matter. I just don’t want to take it during the day.

 

I’m planning on reading for a while (almost halfway through The China Study – more and more fascinating every chapter! So much I didn’t know) and then getting to bed. I am so tired and drained, I could barely stay away today, and I need to review my code and make sure things are really in shape tomorrow at work.

Lunch, snacks, nutrition, and reading

Snacks today were a tiny greek yogurt and a fruit leather, and some green tea. Lunch was a salad and Lean Cuisine. Interestingly, yesterday I was entirely vegan/gluten free, and had no pelvic pain. Almost immediately after eating lunch, it came back. Is the link between food and endo pain that strong, or is it coincidence?

    

I’ve also been reading The China Study, which is really fascinating, and is a very long and detailed book about a series of studies that proved that a plant-based diet is healthier for you. The chapter I’m reading now is about a study where they showed that animal protein (specifically casein) in various levels could literally turn cancer on and off. Crazy stuff. And definitely enough to make you want to stop eating animals entirely. At this point i just want to eat up what’s in my kitchen! I’m too poor to throw it out 🙂

 

Some more afternoon snacks (granola bar, fruit & nuts from a picnic box) and more tea.

Oops!

I may have accidentally finished off a pint of coconut coconut milk ice cream without even taking a picture. Shame on me! I really need to scoop it out of the container and into a bowl. Vegan though it may be, it is certainly not to be eaten by the pint…

Snacks today were a few of the granola bars I made earlier (so good!) and dinner was leftover soup from last night. I still feel vaguely unsatisfied, not sure why. 

Making the best of it

Somehow sick days always turn into “productive at home” days. I feel like crap and I’m sneezing and tired and achy, but I cooked!

I wanted some warm, garlicky pasta for lunch, so I made this recipe for Creamy Avocado pasta, and used a gluten-free quinoa/corn pasta (disclosure: this pasta is not the best, so it’s good in dishes that have a lot going on like this one.)

I also made some snack bars for the week that I’ve been wanting to make for a while – and they are SO GOOD. I followed this recipe for 5 Minute No-bake granola bars. I used crunchy almond butter that i’d been trying to use up, and added a tb of coconut butter to the wet ingredients. I also microwaved them till they were really liquid, which made it easier to mix, and then spread them on parchment paper in a pan. They are not going to last long. Next time i will make them even more coconutty!

Making sure I get lots of good, healthy food in me today in hopes that this cold/flu/whatever will go away soon!

A Trying Day

Eating did not go spectacularly today. Nor was it catastrophic. I did have some more cashews and a Lean Cuisine late in the day.

 

Then I went out erranding for ages, picked up a protein shake that turned out to be lousy. A couple hours later, starving and exhausted, i got a chicken quesadilla from Wawa for dinner. I figured it was better than a hoagie.I got a diet iced tea, too – trying to stay away from sodas in all forms but didn’t want water or juice. I didn’t get home til 11.

Got home, miserable, [[personal stuff + pain, etc]] and needed to calm down. Took some of my very helpful Ativan, some painkillers, and it’s all starting to feel a little better.Full disclosure, because I fully believe that mental health should not be a stigma: I see a therapist and a psychiatrist and I am on an anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication. I don’t go parading it around, but I don’t want to be secretive or embarrassed about it, either.

I also wanted a snack to wash that down with so i had a snack box and several glasses of water.

Suddently writing it all down doesn’t make it seem so bad 🙂 My first goal needs to be to get my eating back on a healthy track and get myself cooking more and eating better all-around. Then I can start to take things out of my diet. It’s just the mindset that i have to get into of “no, i don’t eat that, i eat healthy.” I have been there before and I know it’s both gradual and sudden. You keep working at it and you wake up one day and you don’t have to think about it anymore. I am trying to be aware of what is gluten-free and such because I’ve never gone down that road before, so it may be more challenging, but it’s well worth it for my health. I’d love to have more information from women with endo and how they’ve treated it, experience with diets, etc. Please feel free to comment or contact me! I’m trying to get my blog around in places where I think other endo sisters will see it, because that’s really who I’d like to connect with here.

Difficult day

Days like this just make me want to eat. And eat. and eat. Between the normal period cravings and feeling wonky from Vicodin, I just want to stuff my face. I’m trying to keep it healthy. I had a steamer bag of broccoli and pasta and rice.  And then just now another picnic snackbox. At least this one was gluten-free! I really just want a huge pile of chocolate and chips and junk food right now and it makes me miserable. I hate feeling this way. I’m still in so much pain, although my back is a little better. It’s been pouring rain all day, so I’m not too bummed out that I wasn’t up for walking or anything. I am frustrated that I’ve been trying to get some work done from home all day (I’m a web developer) and all I’ve been doing is wrestling with my computer. I don’t have much patience today. I’m planning to have a big taco salad (have avocados and black beans that need eating) for dinner.